
I’m a bit of a schizophrenic birder when it comes to policing my patch on the Chesapeake Bay. In the front yard my feeders attract birds, (and squirrels) and supply nonstop entertainment through the window as I sit at the desk and write this. These are the typical passerines you all see, cardinals, jays, finches, chickadees, and titmice, with an occasional woodpecker or nuthatch thrown in to make it more interesting. On the waterside of the house however, it is very different. I’ve declared war on the dock, boat, and swimming pool desecrators, and those large birds that feed off my grass. We’re talking gulls, terns, and osprey, on the dock and those pesky Canada Geese fouling the pool and denuding the lawn.
A real birder and naturalist would welcome them all and put up with the guano and a mudflat for a lawn, as he or she observed our avian friends. They would tell me that I have invaded the their space and that I should be thankful that the birds even allow me a home on the bay. Not me. Recently my warfare has escalated and I believe that I have won, at least the latest battle.
It’s election season and time to exercise our democratic right to vote. It’s a time for patriotism and flag waving, or in my case, banner waving. For less than $20 you can purchase red, white, and blue, star-spangled windsocks. With perhaps a 10% split for patriotic fervor, and 90% for bird deterrence, I’ve hung them on poles up and down the dock and on the sailboat stays. It has helped somewhat, at least when the wind’s blowing. I still haven’t solved the flyover bombardment, though.
My greater victory has been against those nasty Canada Geese. James Michener in his classic novel “Chesapeake”, waxed poetic about these birds, mating for life, and traveling great distances from the arctic tundra to grace us with their temporary presence every fall and winter. That was before the geese learned that migration was not everything it was cracked up to be; why not just stay put on Steve’s lawn all year, get fat and happy, and raise a big family of sedentary resident goslings. The number of these non-migrators has skyrocketed and I hear grumbling even from my nature loving neighbors. After spending big bucks to reseed the lawn this fall I decided to try a new approach.
On the way home from Blackwater Refuge in Dorchester County, a flat, rural land of large farms and fields, I noticed huge, perhaps 6 feet tall, Bald Eagles scattered throughout a field. From a distance they looked real, but obviously were not, at least to this discerning human. They were tall plywood birds, presumably erected to keep out the geese and save the crops. Why not give this a try at home?
A trip to Loew’s for 3 sheets of 2×4 foot plywood, a few cans of paint, and after the resurrection of some latent artistic skills (with a big assist from the spouse), I had three Bald Eagle decoys ready to go. My only blunder was the way too small feet and talons that can be corrected on later editions. These likenesses will not upstage Audubon, but everyone has to start somewhere.
Previously my typical day involved 3 or more mad dashes out the door, waving my arms to shoo away the 50-75 feeding geese, and even a few that were bold enough to lounge around the pool closer to the house. They would just honk a little, briefly fly away by making a wide circle, and return as soon as I went indoors. The recent addition of the migrating crowd to the resident geese made things even worse. But now, 3 weeks after the erection of the Bald Eagles I have not had a single Canada Goose land! They fly over, look, and keep going. Now the question is how long can I keep this deception going.
My first step has been to occasionally move the eagles to keep the geese off balance. Unfortunately my bluebirds are threatening to blow my cover. This week these beautiful passerines have been perching on the eagles’ heads and soiling my paint job. Zippity-doo-dah. I’m afraid the geese will notice the boldness of these little birds and finally realize that they’ve been duped. How is it that a little bluebird brain has figured this all out but the much larger goose brain has not. Size is not everything when it comes to birdbrains. I’m considering marketing these effective decoys, so don’t tell anyone about my invention. Maybe it will finance my retirement. If you check on-line you’ll see that people spend big bucks on devices to scare off geese.
Today we had another unexpected benefit from the decoys. A beautiful adult Bald Eagle landed near one of his plywood brothers to have a closer look. What was he thinking? Was he amazed at this amazon-sized relative, intimidated, or perhaps just being a critic of my paint job? I don’t think I’ve ever been closer to one of our national birds and grabbed this shot through the window.
It was all so patriotic with waving red, white, and blue banners, real and fake eagles on the lawn, election day fast approaching, and finally, beautiful green grass. I’ll permit the geese to also admire it all, but only from the neighbor’s yard.
Well done, Steve! Your many latent talents steadily emerge. Did you ever think that retirement would so richly reward you and your friends? Forest
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I’m pleased to hear that these posts bring some enjoyment to others. It certainly has be fun writing them. Thanks for that encouragement.
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Who woulda thunk a plywood eagle replica would keep the c goose away? And, who woulda thunk it would also attract a live version? A fun experiment all the way around.
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Thanks for that. It was great fun and seems to also serve a purpose. We’ll have to see what the long run is. Thanks for your interest.
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What a delightful read! While we do not have to contend with such large numbers of large birds as you have in the form of Canada Geese, my lawn and flower beds have been hammered hard and bare by the staccato beating of the feet of flocks of (mostly) Laughing Doves and their mates which eat the grain I fill the feeders with (for the smaller birds – you would understand). With the ongoing drought, I cannot imagine a fully green lawn – let alone having grass cover the entire area. I have moved the feeders and am planning to meet the doves half way by screening off the inevitable bare patches under the feeders with ornamental shrubs (when decent rains become the order of the day). The difficulty then will be seeing interesting ground-feeding birds, such as the Pin-tailed Whydah! Birding, gardening, and caring for the environment are not always harmonious – as you clearly point out!
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I guess we all have our cross or crosses to bear. Your drought seems serious and I hope it ends for you soon. You have great bird names. While our doves are mourning, yours are laughing. And we have nothing to contend with the “Whydah”. Thanks again for your interesting input and comments.
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This is hilarious – I couldn’t stop laughing. Well done! Just don’t sell any plywood eagles to the neighbours.
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Glad you had some laughs. But the lawn preservation is serious stuff. One of my neighbor’s uses a gun-like thing that sounds like an incoming V2 rocket. Others just resort to running them off, and still others have dogs. My solution seems like the best so far. Thanks for commenting.
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So funny–thanks!
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So kind of you to reply. We need some laughs these days.
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Yes we do!
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